Hurt People Hurt People
The sermon on Sunday is about people who say bad things to you and about you. He said that the reason they are saying such hurtful things is because they are hurting inside. I've heard it before, but for some reason or another it really hit home this time.
I used to have this friend that was very hurtful on a normal basis. They didn't know they were hurtful and I never let on that they were, I just went along with it and stayed friends with them for quite some time. I decided after a couple of years, and the advice of every other friend that I had, that it was just getting too hurtful and I needed to end the relationship. When it ended, of course, only got more hurtful with the lashing out and mean words. And now I still see this person on a normal basis and it is terribly awkward trying to avoid each other and what not.
The sermon made me feel really bad for this person. I know they are very unhappy. They always have been unhappy. I almost felt like maybe I should have tried harder to love them and that me breaking up with them was like I was just giving up. I guess what I am trying to say is, are we supposed to stay in a hurtful, toxic relationship in the hopes that we can love the hurt out of the other person? It is really too late now and I really wouldn't want to ever go back to it, as I am much happier now without this person.
And now I feel I'm rambling and have totally lost what I was trying to say!!!
Train of thought --------> de-rail
I guess I will just pray for this person and hopefully someday it won't be so awkward. I will just love them from a distance and not get myself sucked in again.
I used to have this friend that was very hurtful on a normal basis. They didn't know they were hurtful and I never let on that they were, I just went along with it and stayed friends with them for quite some time. I decided after a couple of years, and the advice of every other friend that I had, that it was just getting too hurtful and I needed to end the relationship. When it ended, of course, only got more hurtful with the lashing out and mean words. And now I still see this person on a normal basis and it is terribly awkward trying to avoid each other and what not.
The sermon made me feel really bad for this person. I know they are very unhappy. They always have been unhappy. I almost felt like maybe I should have tried harder to love them and that me breaking up with them was like I was just giving up. I guess what I am trying to say is, are we supposed to stay in a hurtful, toxic relationship in the hopes that we can love the hurt out of the other person? It is really too late now and I really wouldn't want to ever go back to it, as I am much happier now without this person.
And now I feel I'm rambling and have totally lost what I was trying to say!!!
Train of thought --------> de-rail
I guess I will just pray for this person and hopefully someday it won't be so awkward. I will just love them from a distance and not get myself sucked in again.
posted by Cammeron at Wednesday, September 24, 2008
2 Comments:
That is one of my favorite "sayings". The "hurt people hurt people". oh so true. I personally don't think you should stay in a toxic relationship hoping to bring the other person back or out of the funk.
You, on the other hand, are a GREAT person who full of rainbows and butterflies. You rock :)
People who stay in toxic relationships in order to try to change the other person are called co-dependents, and they only enable the bad behavior in the other person. You did the right thing for both of you, even though it was difficult.
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