the best fail ever

Girls spell T R O U B L E

A Lesson in Purity

Yesterday Lil comes home from school and tells me she has an important secret to tell me. 

"Boys have cooties" she whisperes in my ear

"You're darn right they do!" I exclaim

She sits for a minute and thinks about it and comes back with, "But daddy is a boy."

"Yes, honey but Mommy and Daddy are married.  It's okay to share cooties after you are married, but you don't want to share cooties before you are married because if you get too many different cooties in your system it will make you very sick!"

"oh," she says thoughtfully

We'll just whip that one in the butt before it becomes a problem.

It hurt me more than it hurt her

Lil had 2 cavities at her last checkup.  

I apparently had convinced myself that kids don't get cavaties b/c I didn't have one until I was like 12.

I was totally not prepared.

I mean, it's not like it was a kidney transplant or something, but if you had seen me today you would have thought it was and that my kidney was the one being transplanted.

I didn't say anything to her about it until I picked her up from school.

I didn't want her to stew over it all day because Lord knows, I was going to.

I greeted her with 2 Tylenol and the news.

On the way to the dentist I start prepping her.

I tell her that when she gets in the chair the dr will give her some gas that will make her feel funny, then she will take a drill that will jiggle her cheeks and it wont hurt, just feel funny ( I totally skipped the needle part ) then they will fill the hole they made with some stuff that will taste really gross.

She was like, Okay.

She likes all the information so she will know exactly what to expect.

I made sure and snagged her Ipod so she will have yet another thing to distract her.

We get there and I ask the nurse (b/c we have never done this before) if they will use gas on Lil.

She says, no we don't do that.

OH EM GEE

So I ask, can she listen to her Ipod. 

Of course she can!

WHEW

So we sit down and I broke the news about the gas.

She doesn't care b/c she doesn't know the difference anyway.

She decides she wants to go ahead and start listening to her Ipod while she is coloring and waiting on the dr.

HER IPOD DIES.

Mom of the year didn't even THINK to charge it!!!

OH EM GEE

Okay, so no gas, no Ipod, but it's okay I will hold her hand through the whole thing.

The nurse comes out to get her and says I'm ready to take her back.

I stand up to go with her and she says, oh she has to go alone.

OOOOOHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEEEM GEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I said, no I have to go with her.

She says, there is no room for me in the room with her.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

She starts to cry.

I start to officially panic.

After about 4 minutes of co-ersing and a promise to buy icecream the second we are done we find out that the thing she is afraid of is the gross tasting tooth filler.

seriously?!

So the nurse tells her that she promises to get her sucker tube right next to it so she won't have to taste it.

Lil is like, well okay then and trots to the back.

I am sitting in the waiting room alone and starting to text andrea b/c I'm totally freaked out and I just know she is going to cry out for me.

THEN MY PHONE DIES!!!

Full on panic sets in.

I am alone in the waiting room with no possible chance to vent about it while they are drilling holes in my 6yr olds skull for the first time ever and everyone is going to die!!

After what seemed to be the longest wait of my life the nurse comes out smiling and says, well that was a piece of cake.

She was picking out her toy as the nurse told me how great she was, no tears, no fears and tons of giggles about her lip that fell asleep and seemed twice the size it should be.

Out comes lil exclaiming "Mom! Feel my face it feels crazy!!"

GIANT SIGH OF RELIEF

and the sun will once again shine tomorrow

Major Props

Lori wanted me to go see Coraline with her.  I wanted to, but I didn't feel comfortable taking the girls (who happen to be afraid of their shadows) so I passed and will netflix it later.  Lori decided to take Jordan. He did fine until that evening when she put him in bed and then snuck back into his room with buttons in her eyes!!!  I'm telling you what I can't wait until my girls are old enough to do those kinds of evil things to.  Life is so fun when you can start torturing them.

I've started a new class at the church on a book called Life's Healing Choices.  It is the introduction to a fab program called Celebrate Recovery.  I'm hoping to get over my hang-ups and go about the rest of my life with less anxiety than I came into the world with.   I have an amazing group of women to share the journey with and I am really excited to see what it brings!

Chloe is a complete ham.  Everyday she says or does something new that makes me double over.  Most of the time she makes no sense whatsoever.  "MOM, that one line you know on my toenail, well it just comed OFF!" or her favorite "Mom, when I was little I was borned."  It is amazing how different kids are!  Lil is so sweet and reserved and brainy and Chloe, while she loves the pants off of you, will knock you down for a piece of bubblegum if it comes to it.  Today we went to a sugar rush party and she sat all big in the chair getting her hair did, then put on a cheerleading outfit and put on a show!  I didn't even have to ask her to pose for the camera, everytime I brought it up and pointed it at her it was automatic.  She strutted across the stage during the fashion show and struck the BEST pose out of any of them!  She was the youngest girl there, but she made herself a place and was not lost in the crowd!

Emailing While Asleep

This was on the front page of Yahoo and it was just WAY too funny to share

POSTED BY DAVID PESCOVITZ, FEBRUARY 18, 2009 10:31 AM 

According to a case described in the medical journal Sleep Medicine, a 44-year-old sleepwalker logged onto her computer and emailed out party invitations to friends. Fortean Times magazine looks at this case and several other bizarre episodes of somnambulism. From Fortean Times:
The mails themselves were perhaps not up to the woman’s waking standard; each was in a random mix of upper and lower case characters, badly formatted and containing odd expressions. One read: “Come tomorrow and sort this hell hole out. Dinner and drinks, 4.pm. Bring wine and caviar only.” Another said simply: “What the…”

The writers of the report have dubbed this new variation of sleepwalking ‘zzz-mailing’. They say: “We believe writing an email after turning the computer on, connecting to the Internet and remembering the password displayed by our patient is novel. To our knowledge this type of complex behaviour requiring coordinated movements has not been reported before in sleepwalking. She was shocked when she saw these emails, as she did not recall writing them. She did not have any history of night terr ors or sleepwalking as a child.”

Unlike simple sleepwalking, they argue, the activities the woman engaged in required complex behaviour and coordinated movement, as well being able to remember her login details. She had no memory of the events next day. It’s thought that the somnambulistic episode may have been triggered by prescript ion medication.

February Serendipity Kits Are Out!!!

The kit I received this mont is FLAIR! This is what I came did with it :)

www.serendipity.homestead.com

Boys Have Weiners

That is what this one ---^  has decide to announce to anyone new she meets.  Followed with, "my daddy trims the hair on my puppy's weiner"  - come on, you would too if it was dragging and making pee lines across your floor!!  

I finished the second senior session with Nicole and posted some pics on the site.  I guess the thing to do these days is a fall and a spring session.  I have a few that have requested that.

Carnival Time!!

Theres a Valentines Carnival going on at Craft Critique!!  

My blog was chosen, as well as many others, to feature fun Valentines projects.

It is a goldmine of ideas, so if you need something quick for this year or want to store away for next year, I suggest you head over!!

WHAT??!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? SERIOUSLY??!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS RIGHT AND GOOD

Randoms

1. This picture is old, unfortunately I couldn't find a new one, but my brother looks EXACTLY like James Franco in Pineapple Express. I watched it last night and I felt like I was watching Anthony the whole time!!! I will try and get a newer picture of him and post it, you will totally die when you see it.

2. I jumped on the Hand Sanitizer bandwaggon for the teacher for Valentines Day.  How could I not? They were way too cute.  I used rub-ons & bling and ribbon to tie their valentines on.



This one was my favorite --^

3.  Writing on napkins has to be my favorite past-time.  Something about it I'm not sure, it just feels nice.  You should try it.  I think all paper should be made of napkins.

4. V-Day inspired handouts for Alan's photo business :)

5. Check out this cake lady I just discovered. 

                    CAKE DIVA

 She lives by Andrea's sister.  Go to the birthday page - the cakes on that page range from $40 - $45  NO JOKE!! I almost passed out when I heard how much they were.  Crazy insane cheap and crazy insane CUTE! 

updates galore!

I updated the boys and the family sections as well :)

Photos up!

New Bellies 
And new girlies :)

Waiting Waiting always Waiting

Good thing I'm patient!!

I'm waiting on Chloe to finish her lunch so we can go to the dentist

I'm waiting on my Mpix order to arrive (4 days late)

I'm waiting on my contractor to decide to show up and install the bedroom door so the others can actually finish their work

I'm waiting on my tax refund (if you can call it that - blech!!)

I'm waiting on my new nooma

I'm waiting on the eye dr to call and say my glasses are ready

I'm waiting for springs to call and say my sunglasses and my mom's glasses are ready

Jesus & the Dinosaurs

Cardboard Testimony

My fabulous friend Tana sent me this. I couldn't make it to the end without tears.

what would your cardboard testimony be?